


Of narcissism & cupids

by Sunshine_louie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Glittery witchcraft, Hoerry in distress, Idiots in Love, Louis Tomlinson Calls Harry Styles Pet Names, M/M, Niall thinks he's a professional Cupid, Pining, Shakespeare rolling in his grave at the lack of tragedy following this comparison, Tommo the dramatic Romeo, basically a fairytale poem about sweet creatures, he's a professional dumbass like everyone else in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 18:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18946279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshine_louie/pseuds/Sunshine_louie
Summary: Tale of narcissism and pining, magic at the table dining and of how it's mutual, really, except our two boys are silly.In other words, a story about two idiots in love feat. captain Niall and amateur witchcraft - it also rhymes.





	Of narcissism & cupids

**Author's Note:**

  * For [resurrectdead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/resurrectdead/gifts).



> I write poems for my darling sometimes, she suggested a fairytale and since we both love these precious pathological liars, this romantic ode to dumbassery just kinda happened.

Once upon a time sweet creature  
Sat admiring Curly's features,  
Drinking tea, he longed and feared  
Telling truth to oh his dear  
Precious boy, the rose-lipped wonder.  
Hid behind the smoke, he pondered.

Meanwhile Harry, our prince charming  
Felt his heartbeat get alarming,  
Pounding rapidly and dreaming  
Of his sunshine boy so beaming.  
Hiding behind hair and blushing,  
He was falling, far past crushing.

Sat in silence, boys were touching,  
Fingers close, hands empty, clutching  
Blankets and daydreaming silly  
Of hand-holding - proud, freely,  
Oh if only other's feelings  
Were more clear and revealing!

Now meet Cupid - for friends Niall,  
Happy captain with bright smile.  
Self-proclaimed love god was tired,  
Watching fools, he then conspired  
Plan against our princes silly  
On a winter evening chilly.

Our romantic googled witches  
Who could use those wonder-stitches  
And turn two hearts in one stronger.  
Could not bear that pining longer,  
He requested instant potion  
To induce that sweet emotion.

Oh but Zayn, witch superhero  
In love matters clues had zero.  
So once throwing things together,  
Dropped in glitter and a feather,  
Handed it with a slight worry  
Blondie shrugged, took sparkly glory.

Cupid was just like Mad hatter,  
Could not come with plan that's better  
Than just leave a "drink me" bottle  
And hope that the glitter mottle  
Will allure H to start drinking  
"He'll share with Lou", Neil was thinking.

Now you see, H did love sharing -  
More so, getting pouty, staring  
At Lou, handing juice and blinking,  
Lou would sigh but start the drinking.  
But today the juice seemed tasty -  
Why share thing that isn't nasty?

So he drank it all and smiled,  
Said a little "thank you, Niall",  
Unaware of magic power  
Of the sparkly drink devoured.  
Meanwhile Louis just kept dreaming  
Of our Harry's mouth steamy.

Frowning, Niall tensed, kept looking,  
Waiting, fearing something spooky  
And then, suddenly - a wonder  
Curly froze, like struck with thunder  
And a minute later smirked  
Niall wondered, "what on earth..."

Moments later, flipping hair  
Curly smacked his ass and stared  
In the mirror before him,  
(Louis died, oh what a dream)  
Then he licked his lips and kissed  
Mirror, sighing, "what a bliss!"

And alright, Lou did agree,  
"Oh yes, Harry, bliss is thee!"  
But oh wait, now what the fuck?  
What kind of the heaven's luck  
Must've found him to see H  
At this hot, self-loving stage?

Surely, Louis tried a lot,  
Day and night, sweet-talked and fought  
Harry's insecure thoughts  
But it always was for naught.  
He suspected something strange,  
Wondered, why is H deranged?

Meanwhile Cupid boy was pacing,  
Nervous and a little spacey,  
Now his plan was working wrongly  
And instead of loving strongly  
One another it was all  
Harry at himself "damn" drawl.

Louis squinted, seeing Niall,  
Acting weird, too, out of style.  
"Do you know, the fook goes on?  
Is this prank you played with Shawn?"  
But our Cupid boy was lost,  
Not sure what to say foremost.

"It's a potion" - gasp - "...oh shit!"  
Niall would suddenly admit,  
Louis frowned then, what the hell???  
Was his baby under spell?  
He did not believe such bull!  
Focus, Lou, no time to drool.

Staring holes in Cupid lad,  
Louis started getting mad,  
Why would he not tell the facts?  
What was causing Harry's act?  
Watching him give bedroom eyes  
To himself caused lots of "why"s

Then dear Niall spilled some more,  
Said that it was such a bore  
Watching him and Harry pine,  
Wanting to call other "mine",  
Someone had to help these fools.  
Cupid's plan was great and cool!

Louis didn't think so though,  
Outraged, how could Neil go  
To some weirdo, phoney guy,  
Did he want them both to die?  
Like in morbid Shakespeare play,  
Wow fanks Niall, made their day.

Now the question was, what's next?  
Harry was about to sext  
With himself - oh boy, he's deep  
Into being proper creep,  
Narcissism engulfed his mind,  
Evil wizard shall be fined!

Talking bout it - who's that fraud?  
Before Curleh gets more odd  
Gotta find him, get a cure,  
Gotta right away make sure  
Baby darling angel boy  
Is alright, ya hear, Neil? Oi!

While Lou was throwing a fit,  
In walked Liam, daddy wit,  
And once finding out what's wrong -  
Harry bent, exposing thong,  
Louis slightly dead and red -  
He suggested help instead.

Now you see, our Lima bean  
Did believe in things unseen  
And he longed to try some spells -  
You too, Liam? What the hell!?  
Well, for better or for worse,  
They just had to fix this curse!

Well, not such a curse, unless  
You're in love with this wild mess  
And of course poor Tommo was,  
"So let's go then, do not pause,  
Harreh, sunshine, you'll be fine!  
(But I won't cause you're not mine)".

So our lads took H and went -  
On finding the cure hellbent -  
To a wiccan herbal shop  
"Google, Liam, and don't stop!"  
They got all the smelly stuff  
To reverse that wild self-love.

After getting home to brew  
Louis' death threats only grew  
For dear Harry knew no shame,  
Almost set his pal aflame.  
As in, started to undress  
Curse that potion! (Or god bless?)

Aster, wormwood, ravens feather,  
Some weird mushroom, bit of heather -  
Mix, and boil, and then just cool,  
And then drink to end that pull,  
That's what Liam's guru said  
(Cough, fit witch he'd like to bed).

Louis, somehow, did not trust  
Stupid plants, "oi, not so fast!"  
Spell or not, he'd not let love  
Of his life drink unknown stuff,  
First he had to try and find,  
Plus, they had more than a pint.

"Tommo, give antidote back!"  
"Never, I'd rather go wack!  
What if it somehow goes wrong?  
Take back all self-love along  
With the confidence he had?  
No, you can't make my boy sad!"

"So you'd rather risk your health?"  
"Yes! Now sod off, screw thyself"  
"That's what Harry said", snorts Neil.  
Calm down, Lou, inhale-exhale.  
Alright, now it's time to drink  
Before H reveals his kinks.

And he did - a big, full glass,  
Moments later fell on ass,  
Saying, "I don't feel so well"  
"Did we screw another spell?"  
Panicked Niall, having doubts,  
Then Lou suddenly passed out.

Waking up, heard angels speaking,  
"Have I died?" he heard no bleeping,  
So no hospital, then where?  
Opened eyes and wow! Witch lair!  
Is that how it's called... Oh wait,  
Could indeed be heaven's gate.

For stared back at him his boy,  
Smiling softly, sweet and coy  
And it made Lou's heart skip beat,  
So he lifted eyes to meet  
Harry's and he saw abyss  
That he fell in, longing kiss.

So forgetting common sense,  
Under veil of sweet romance,  
He pulled Harry's collar ("what!?  
When? But well, he liked that lots")  
Down and while his insides flipped,  
Dared to reach and seal their lips.

Fireworks sparked and H fell limply,  
And they kissed, so slowly, simply.  
All the worries did not matter,  
"You alright, Lou?" "Never better!"  
Smiling foolishly at Harry,  
He remembered, "right, I'm dying".

"In fact not", exclaimed witch guy,  
"Romeo's not gonna die.  
And you won't lose your self-love.  
As for Juliet above -  
He just peed and spell wore off."  
"That juice cleanse", our Tommo scoffed.

"Wait, but who the fook are you?"  
"Oh it's Zayn, Payno's witch boo."  
"Hey, we're not-" "And he's the one  
Who-" "I helped you wake up, hun"  
"Yeah, but also you made that-"  
"You're all idiots", meowed cat.

Louis was confused but hey,  
He was also very gay,  
Reaching for his darling's cheek,  
He admitted in voice meek,  
"I'm in love with you" "Me too!  
Love you. Not me. Yes, I do!"

Finally, idiots knew truth,  
Words so sweet that aches one's tooth  
Spilled and spilled - and then they kissed,  
Oh, just how much they have missed!  
And their friends were happy so,  
Despite "get a room, ew, no"s.

And next year, spouse pics on shelf,  
Harry finally loved himself,  
For he still was "damn, a bliss".  
Like we all here are, kiss, kiss!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Find me on Instagram under the same name or on Tumblr as top-tommo if your brain cells survived this wilderness and are ready for more unsolicited jokes about boi-ois and narcissism awareness!


End file.
